Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Contest! Creators of Kosher Guide to Imaginary Animals Want Your Recipes

Do you make a mean chupacabra challah? Are you renowned for your Loch Ness latkes? We want your recipes! To mark the release of Ann and Jeff VanderMeer’s The Kosher Guide to Imaginary Animals, Tachyon Publications is asking for your best take on kosher cryptozoological cuisine.

Of course we won’t take your recipes and give you nothing in return. We’ve got prizes, bubele. On April 30 We’ll select the five best recipes and send their authors signed copies of The Kosher Guide to Imaginary Animals.

Visit www.kosherimaginaryanimals.com to learn more about the book and how to submit your recipe.


The Kosher Guide to Imaginary Animals
by Ann and Jeff VanderMeer

Hardcover / 96 pp. / April 2010 / $11.95 / 978-1-892391-92-6 
Foreword by Joseph Nigg 
Cover and interior Design by John Coulthart 

Featuring Duff Goldman, star of Ace of Cakes, the Food Network's hit reality TV show.

A perfect gift book, this sumptuously illustrated and whimsically bite-sized bestiary is the definitive – in fact only - guide to the kosherness (kashrut) of imaginary animals. It is an undomesticated romp from A to Z, including E. T., hobbits, Mongolian Death Worms, and the elusive chupacabra. This fantastical journey embarks upon a hilariously contentious debate between the alter-ego of acclaimed fantasist Jeff VanderMeer (a.k.a. Evil Monkey), and his editor/collaborator wife Ann VanderMeer (Steampunk, The New Weird). Once and for all burning questions passed down through the ages will be addressed, such as: Is a vegetable-lamb a vegetable or a lamb? Does licking the Pope make you trayf? What exactly is a Pollo Maligno? Does a Sasquatch taste stringy? 

As featured on Boing Boing and Jewcy.com and brought to you by the same creative team that gave you The Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide to Eccentric and Discredited Diseases, this irreverent abecedary is the must-have present for anyone seeking to broaden their imaginary culinary experiences guilt-free.

Here's an example from the book to get you started. When you’re ready, send your recipe to kosher@tachyonpublications.com.

Recipe for: Grilled Mongolian Death Worm Maki
Recipe from: The Kosher Guide to Imaginary Animals
Serves: 6

4-5 lbs of Mongolian Death Worm meat
2 cups Sushi Rice
2-3 Nori sheets (seaweed wraps)
1 Cucumber, sliced into long, thin strips
Fresh Mango, diced
Pickled Daikon
(Note: you will need a bamboo sushi mat to roll the sushi)

First, you will need to de-electrify the creature. The best way to do this is to zap it with a taser (and ignore it of it says "Don't tase me, bro." It is NOT your bro). If you don't have a taser (and why don't you? It's a dangerous world out there, bubele), you can use static electricity. Simply put on a pair of pantyhose and walk across a carpet, making sure your legs are as close together as possible. Once you've built up enough, touch the thing and hopefully you will see sparks. (Note: this second method is very dangerous. We recommend instead that you just go out and buy a taser.)

Soak it in salt water overnight (this will kill any of the acid residue, we trust). Grill the Mongolian Death Worm in soy sauce until it is nice and tender - there is no way you want to eat this stuff raw. You will notice that the meat shrinks up, which is why you must start with such a large amount in order to have enough once it is cooked. Then cut into small pieces. Place the nori sheet on the bamboo sushi-mat. Spread the rice on top of the nori, not too thick, leaving about an inch on the top and bottom of the nori without any rice. Place a strip of cucumber across the rice, then place the mango and Mongolian Death Worm meat across as well. Make sure the left and right sides are even. Slowly roll up the nori from the bottom. you will have a nice, firm sushi roll. Cut into pieces. Serve with sake (preferably chilled), and the daikon and wasabi on the side.

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